If Nobody's Perfect Being Faithful Is Absolutely Better Than Being A Jerk
How to see new opportunities for joy in your life through conversations with friends
Which is better? To keep from a self-centered attitude and hurting others, prioritizing Islamic traditions, keeping good manners, respecting holy people, or being an asshole and trolling on Twitter.
On January 10, 2023, I promoted a tweet about Sheykh Lokman Efendi traveling to Malaysia. I didn’t expect thousands of likes, hundreds of retweets or the video to reach hundreds of thousands overseas in just a few days. The footage showed men and their sons greeting him in a local mall; our murshid1, the Osmanli Naksibendi Sufi Order leader, walked gracefully, with quick-footed helpers and traveling companions around him as he moved gracefully with a gentle disposition. Lokman Efendi’s warm and kind smile lit up the surrounding area, responding gently to admirers as they kissed his hand, offering their respect in traditional Ottoman fashion.
This emphatic characterization of masculinity, showing men interacting with other men, in stark contrast to the depiction of radicalized “bros” of the manosphere, is all due to Islamic manners, edep2. An outlook of manliness that opposes the far-right, alt-right, liberal, and American feminist views of manhood with gentle and beautifully dressed gestures.
In Malaysia, the tweet was seen by 901,000 people, and 46.3% were males. Ninety-five comments were mostly favorable, and criticism mainly came from male commenters, in which respondents were not conceptually opposed to Sufism, Islam, or Sheykhs.
On the contrary, it was personal resistance; their main objection was kissing Lokman Efendi’s hand, a gesture of love and modesty towards elders and holy people, a time-honored tradition held firm for hundreds of years by the Ottomans but forgotten by today’s mainstream Muslims. For instance, a narration by Hz. Ibn Umar (RA), Companion of the Prophet said:
“We came near the Prophet (AS) and kissed his hand.” (Riyad as-Salihin 890)
As a sunnah3 of the Companions of the Holy Prophet (AS), kissing the hands and feet has been recorded in numerous sahih4 narrations. So religious authenticity is not in question here. These fascinating protests led me to explore the critics and their complaints more closely. As a result, I learned that 63.4% of all people who saw the tweet were between the ages of 20 and 29. This suggests that most criticisms likely came from men in their early to late twenties.
Most twenty-somethings need help in life, male or female. Whether it’s sound advice to assist them in avoiding wrong ideas and beliefs or encouragement and inspiration to help them carry on, they also need community and a sense of belonging. So that they’re not left alone in this world; I know I did, and so do my adult children.
Maybe you are a young man and agree with the things you’re reading here, or maybe you agree but are not a young man. Perhaps you feel something inside of you drawn to Islamic spirituality, but you can’t explain it.
Accordingly, who can show us edep if not the sheykhs? Unquestionably, the subject is further reaching than young Muslim men, but if young men today are not accepting the words of the evliyAllah5 and rejecting the sheykhs and tarikats,6 who will promote training on how to control the ego? How will they become fruitful men of honor, faithful husbands, and loving fathers? What answers to these questions do complainers have?
Although nobody is perfect, by comparison, the Osmanli Naksibendi men are knights in shining armor, and Sheykh Lokman Efendi is their sultan.7 They exemplify chivalry, offering genuine advice and correct Islamic beliefs in a global community. A Companion of the Prophet, named Hz. ‘Abdullah (RA) narrated that the Prophet said:
“Islam began as something strange and will return to being strange, so glad tidings to the strangers.” It was asked: “Who are the strangers?’ He replied: “Strangers who have left their families and tribes.” (Sunan ibn Majah 3988)
In truth, critics will call tarikats a cult. Webster defines a cult as a system of religious devotion to a person and/or object. By this definition, all religions are cults, so if you believe in God and are going to be cultish, it makes more sense to be with the most distinguished among them.
“None of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father, his children and all mankind.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 15)
The exceptional characteristic that matters most for Muslims is love, running after beliefs and actions loved by Allah and His Messenger (AS), and running away from those they dislike. Making sacrifices is necessary, and helping our families stabilize and prepare for this way is vital. If everything fails, elhamdulillah, we can say, “We tried ya, Rabbi.”
In that honest try, you’ll find the most extraordinary thing!
Life is full of complex problems. But in our way, we focus on simplifying our lives and solving our problems by sitting in association with the sheykh. Listening to sohbet8 and asking questions as a means for practical knowledge and untangling wrong ideas we might have from unIslamic influences and histories we don’t fully understand. We then apply that fresh wisdom to our lives, leaving our comfort zone.
So ditch your self-soothing and take up the road for this way; there’s a guide and traveling friends. We’re accepting our model from the Holy Prophet (AS), his noble family, and his blessed Companions. Trying to be like them, especially the Khulafa Rashidun9 and those who follow them. To illustrate this, Sheykh Lokman Efendi has described the function of the Osmanli Naksibendi tarikat, saying:
“O Believers! We must follow the Islam of the Holy Prophet (AS) and we must follow the Islam of the Companions of that Prophet. We are living in a time when everyone is inventing an Islam that fits their own thinking. Radical Islam, liberal Islam, secular Islam, vegan Islam, academic Islam, Sufi Islam, eastern Islam, and western Islam.” (Efendi, Lokman Sh.)
Then he reminds us of what Allah (SWT) is saying about Islam in the Qur’an,
BismillahirRahmanirRahim
“This day, those who reject faith have given up all hope of (ever harming) your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me. This day have I perfected your religion for you, and completed My Favor upon you, and have chosen for you as a religion Al-Islam.” Sadaqallahul Azim
Surah al-Ma’idah (5:3)
For this reason, Naksibendi Travelogues draws individuals interested in the Islam of Allah and His Prophet (AS). Just as a pundit’s story will seduce you to political Islam, a journalist’s report about newsworthy Islam might help you form an opinion on Andrew Tate. Our stories help point you to unexplored possibilities in your life experiences different than what you might already know.
As for me, I want faith, not fancy things, and I’m looking for a spiritual connection to grow from a mere feeling to a lifestyle demonstrating love for Allah’s Messenger (AS). I’ve made many mistakes seeking money and fame, insha’Allah; I’ll never do that kind of embarrassing thing again; I want to be better; Sheykh Lokman Efendi has helped me progress step-by-step for nearly twenty years. My heartfelt yearning is to do right by his support: traveling, spending, helping others, and sharing any insights I might find on the road here at Naksibendi Travelogues. May Allah (SWT) bless you all and forgive me. Fatiha.
Arabic for “guide,” with the basic meaning of having integrity, being sensible, and mature.
Turkish for good morality, delicacy, and decency; Islamic etiquette covers all aspects of life.
Arabic for the traditions and practices of the Holy Prophet (AS) that saw by his Companions and followed and passed on to the next generations constitute a model for Muslims to follow.
Arabic for “authentic” may also be translated as “sound.”
Turkish for an Islamic saint, otherwise referred to by the more literal “friend of God.”
Turkish for a Sufi order and concept for religious teaching and spiritual practices.
Arabic for rulers with nearly full sovereignty or power of a province within the khilafat.
Turkish for a practice of community conversations led by a Sufi Sheykh.
Arabic title for the first four successors who led the Muslims following the death of the Holy Prophet (AS)